Bags of style

Here’s an exercise for people of a certain age. Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side.

With a 2-kilo potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.

Each day you’ll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 5-kilo potato bags.

Then try 10-kilo bags, 20-kilo bags and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 50-kilo potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I’m at this level.)

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.

Going out on a limb

I pulled in at the local Caltex to get petrol, and there was some git filling his car and smoking.

Geez. Worse still, a couple of cops were standing around having a coffee and they did nothing.

I finished went inside to pay, and there was a weird sound and then a lot of yelling.

I looked out, and there was this guy, and sure enough, his arm was on fire. He was waving it around as if that would put it out. He ran over to the coppers for help.

They knocked him to the ground and poured their coffees over him. That did the trick. One way of doing it I guess.

Then they handcuffed the poor guy and chucked him in their paddy wagon. I walked over and asked what he was being arrested for.

They looked at me like I was an idiot and said, “threatening police with a firearm.”