Orion’s Belt is a big waist of space.
I pulled in at the local Caltex to get petrol, and there was some git filling his car and smoking.
Geez. Worse still, a couple of cops were standing around having a coffee and they did nothing.
I finished went inside to pay, and there was a weird sound and then a lot of yelling.
I looked out, and there was this guy, and sure enough, his arm was on fire. He was waving it around as if that would put it out. He ran over to the coppers for help.
They knocked him to the ground and poured their coffees over him. That did the trick. One way of doing it I guess.
Then they handcuffed the poor guy and chucked him in their paddy wagon. I walked over and asked what he was being arrested for.
They looked at me like I was an idiot and said, “threatening police with a firearm.”
Obese people do block the footpath, there’s no getting around it.
My grandfather left me a glorious old antique comb.
I can’t bear to part with it.
Just a reminder that it’s now Diarrhoea Awareness Week.
Runs till Saturday.
Q. What do you call it when someone tosses a banjo in a garbage bin?
A. Perfect pitch.
My wife found out I was cheating on her, after she found all the letters I was hiding.
She got mad and said she’s never playing Scrabble with me again.
I ate a watch yesterday. It was time-consuming.
I’ll bet the gambling addiction hotline would get a lot more calls if every tenth caller was a winner.
If you are fed up with other people, you may be a cannibal.