Did I tell you? I sent my son to mime school – he was never heard from again.
I rang the marine life centre, and the automated system informed me that my call would be recorded and may be used for training porpoises.
I told them I’d sighted the first of the season’s humpbacks heading to the Antarctic, and they told me they were new south whales.
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth.
Then it’s more like soap opera.
I was going to invest in the Egyptian tourist industry. They were promising some really attractive returns. My wife took a look and said no, not to waste my money. It was just a pyramid scheme.
Orion’s Belt is a big waist of space.
Obese people do block the footpath, there’s no getting around it.
I ate a watch yesterday. It was time-consuming.
I’ll bet the gambling addiction hotline would get a lot more calls if every tenth caller was a winner.
If you are fed up with other people, you may be a cannibal.
I’ve had it up to here with salesmen. Would you believe it, one tried to sell me a coffin the other day.
“A coffin?” I scoffed, “That’s the last thing I need!”