Obese people do block the footpath, there’s no getting around it.
My grandfather left me a glorious old antique comb.
I can’t bear to part with it.
Just a reminder that it’s now Diarrhoea Awareness Week.
Runs till Saturday.
Q. What do you call it when someone tosses a banjo in a garbage bin?
A. Perfect pitch.
My wife found out I was cheating on her, after she found all the letters I was hiding.
She got mad and said she’s never playing Scrabble with me again.
I ate a watch yesterday. It was time-consuming.
I’ll bet the gambling addiction hotline would get a lot more calls if every tenth caller was a winner.
If you are fed up with other people, you may be a cannibal.
I’ve had it up to here with salesmen. Would you believe it, one tried to sell me a coffin the other day.
“A coffin?” I scoffed, “That’s the last thing I need!”
I’m going to sell my vacuum cleaner. It’s just gathering dust.