In Persia, the faithful gather on their Sabbath at the grand mosque of the city, called the Friday Mosque. There are other mosques of varying sizes, and the tiniest of all are called mosquitoes.
How important do you have to get that if someone kills you, instead of murder it is an assassination?
Can you use the transit lane if you’re driving a hearse?
Why do they put expiry dates on cartons of sour cream?
I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Toronto zoo.
What do we want?
Low flying aircraft noises!
When do we want them?
I bought my friend an elephant for his room.
He said, “Thanks, Dud!”
I said, “Don’t mention it.”
I broke my arm recently, and as the doctor was setting the cast, I asked anxiously, “When it heals, will I be able to play the piano?”
“Yes, of course,” she replied.
“Oh that’s great news,” I said. “I never could before.”
Two clowns were eating a cannibal. One turned to the other and said, “I think we got this joke wrong.”
Next time you see someone doing a crossword, lean over, and whisper to them, “Seven up is lemonade.”